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avatar mulatto-questioner 25 day.ago

I went to the store to get some peas.

They were all out so I had to take an L.

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In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

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1. My daughter asked if she could tell me a knock knock joke.

After she knocked 5 times she got frustrated and said "you're supposed to say who's there" I told her I was a millennial and we refuse to answer the door.

2. My dog’s name is Karo. We call him Kay for short. Sometimes he runs into walls, to which we respond…

Por qué.

3. Weight watchers declares bankruptcy

I just read that weight watchers declared bankruptcy. In England they were getting lots of people to sign up, but ultimately it wasn’t profitable - they were losing pounds left and right.

4. When I was young my mom would take me to her yoga classes, but then she’d want to leave early.

So I’d say, “Nah Ma stay!”

5. Breaking News

The CEO of IKEA was just elected Prime Minister of Sweden. The first thing he'll do is to assemble his cabinet.

6. Why is Voldemort bald?

Store was out of He(a)dwigs.

7. If you want to taco about anything,

remember I’m nacho average listener.

8. How can you tell if a planet is a gas giant or not?

Pull its finger!

9. I saw a calf eating a burger.

It must've been a cow-nibal

10. My teenage son just got his license, he was having trouble getting the car from reverse to drive and my wife was getting frustrated.

She looked over at me and I said, I'm going to stay neutral about this.

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